I’m a Horrible Person or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Baby Einstein

I know, I know, I haven’t been keeping up with the blog at all. It sure isn’t for lack of material, I feel like I’ve aged three years in the last three months. God help me, I don’t know how I’m going to do it for the next 30 years or so.

There’s probably a lot I can talk about, but I’ll try to slowly ease my way back into the writing routine, one topic at a time. Besides I’m feeling a little shell shocked, out of sorts, whatever you want to call it. Why? You might ask. (please do or else I’ll feel like a moron) It’s because my wife purchased my daughter her first Baby Einstein DVD yesterday.


Seriously, now I won’t knock it too much because Serafina seemed genuinely into it, albeit on and off for chunks of time. I, on the other hand, was creeped out. Shiny objects, Beethoven playing, random sock puppets. I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear Jigsaw start asking to play some screwed up game. Jack Bauer could have used this DVD. I mean, I get it, these DVDs aren’t mean for adults, they’re still somewhat unsettling.

I know there are alternatives, we considered buying the Your Baby Can Read series, but I was always a little suspicious of the series. If you know anything about child development you know that kids really can’t read until they’re older. They just aren’t developed yet. Besides, that’s another thing, it’s just creepy to see a nine month old read the Declaration of Independence or whatever the hell they read in the commercials. (PS-they’re not reading, they’re memorizing) I’m sure there are some fre…err…genius babies that can read and what not, but it doesn’t seem right. It’s like some of those child actors. You see them in interviews or on talk shows and they just speak and act like little adults, it’s not right, that’s how kids end up being Michael Jackson. Don’t get me started about those Toddlers in Tiaras.

Okay I’m rambling now, I’m a bit rusty, let me know if there’s anything I’m forgetting or if there’s some super awesome system or video I should be buying for my kid. It’s bad enough I’m a bad blogger, don’t let me be a bad dad as well.


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